“You approach, you know my name, you know that I have lived where I can, that I am hungry, what happened fear.
You know that, at night, my eyes have no time to look at the bright light of the stars.
Because I spend almost all the time looking for what I need most to live.
It was a mistake, a thousand and one times I tell everyone and myself. It was a mistake to believe that, with trying once, it would be enough, that I would always know how to control the doses and their effects on my body and in my soul.
I did not know. I couldn't. It took a cloud to the other side of the river. The dark side where my dreams die and the nightmares torment me.
I live there now. Between bodies like mine. Piled up in reproach, anxiety and pain. Subject to the need to subsist one more day, a few more hours.
I am a slave to the ghosts of my mind that order me silence, that force me to stop dreaming colors. They chase me and I pursue oblivion.
And I can't be how I would like to be.
Because I have lost the course of my words and the meaning of my prayers.
But all this you already know. It is not necessary to tell you. You know us all. And you know that, despite being discarded by the world around us, the heart beats us and love comforts us.
My friend Linda, my beautiful angel, for a thousand lives to live and for a thousand deaths that I die, I will never forget your name. I can forget mine, but not yours.
Because you are one of the few people capable of approaching this corner without form, of staying with me, of hugging me with tenderness, of telling me that, despite everything, I am not alone.
For a few moments, you turn my loneliness into the track of a circus. I see, in your eyes, clowns, acrobats and magicians with their red scarves and their boxes full of mystery.
The rubbing of your hand snatches my oblivion and returns me to childhood. Where I want to stay and stay, for a while, remembering and being.
My Linda friend, my beautiful angel. If you knew how big it is in me the ball of lights and stars that gives me your small moment of love. "
Pepe Navarro
